i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
