I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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