i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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