Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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