i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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