We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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