Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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