i don't like sucking hair
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
