Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!

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  (617): Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out! http://tfl.nu/knp1
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (872)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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  (330): if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would. http://tfl.nu/x08w
  Replies (16) Good night (4142) Bad night (1318)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

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  (404): She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves. http://tfl.nu/q9n8
  Replies (26) Good night (4871) Bad night (836)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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  (203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0
  Replies (3) Good night (3007) Bad night (933)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.

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  (701): A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case. http://tfl.nu/jpiw
  Replies (13) Good night (4244) Bad night (945)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

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  (561): Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all... http://tfl.nu/2j9n
  Replies (11) Good night (699) Bad night (2451)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

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  (250): She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood. http://tfl.nu/8qzi
  Replies (9) Good night (734) Bad night (2439)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays

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  (780): So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays http://tfl.nu/zrwo
  Replies (3) Good night (1235) Bad night (647)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch

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  (309): I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch http://tfl.nu/5u8w
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (1311)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.

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  (570): Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window. http://tfl.nu/lqfg
  Replies (10) Good night (493) Bad night (1400)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.

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  (773): I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain. http://tfl.nu/ynjh
  Replies (0) Good night (865) Bad night (481)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.

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  (979): I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels. http://tfl.nu/it3k
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (532)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump

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  (585): Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump http://tfl.nu/n5lk
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (365)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.

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  (703): I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one. http://tfl.nu/5wbs
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (742)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault

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  (217): My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault http://tfl.nu/cmy2
  Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (184)

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