Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would do horrible things to your vagina.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Prove it.

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(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3

Replies (184) Good night (95095) Bad night (5201)
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(408): View more from California

At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

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(408): At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now. http://tfl.nu/049i

Replies (10) Good night (768) Bad night (1828)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

You mean inside out.

(302): View more from Delaware

No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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(302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3

Replies (20) Good night (7664) Bad night (1048)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

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(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce (1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE. http://tfl.nu/loe7

Replies (105) Good night (13244) Bad night (1657)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.

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(402): Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this. http://tfl.nu/da6y

Replies (48) Good night (655) Bad night (3955)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework

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(828): I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework http://tfl.nu/o5bk

Replies (34) Good night (1262) Bad night (4726)
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(563): View more from Iowa

please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.

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(563): please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death. http://tfl.nu/862e

Replies (10) Good night (1964) Bad night (4000)
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(707): View more from California

I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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(707): I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/hlsl

Replies (11) Good night (4640) Bad night (988)
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(425): View more from Washington

Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming

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(425): Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming http://tfl.nu/1h5t

Replies (4) Good night (3100) Bad night (901)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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(623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt

Replies (9) Good night (1055) Bad night (4101)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.

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(204): Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas. http://tfl.nu/2j0v

Replies (9) Good night (1022) Bad night (554)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit

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(740): I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit http://tfl.nu/8mkh

Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (547)
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(714): View more from California

There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.

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(714): There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody. http://tfl.nu/evby

Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (432)
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(912): View more from Georgia

Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.

(404): View more from Georgia

STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!

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(912): Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles. (404): STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!! http://tfl.nu/hvx1

Replies (19) Good night (3361) Bad night (672)
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(281): View more from Texas

I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.

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(281): I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens. http://tfl.nu/dinq

Replies (8) Good night (510) Bad night (293)

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