Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.

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  (937): Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party. http://tfl.nu/of2q
  Replies (33) Good night (3648) Bad night (1331)
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  (925): View more from California

  I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.

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  (925): I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays. http://tfl.nu/sgn7
  Replies (4) Good night (4272) Bad night (566)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?

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  (720): My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this? http://tfl.nu/za6z
  Replies (18) Good night (6051) Bad night (1034)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  well he's currently spooning the coffee table

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  (409): well he's currently spooning the coffee table http://tfl.nu/7khb
  Replies (6) Good night (4173) Bad night (1303)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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  (412): I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/pqtq
  Replies (34) Good night (3298) Bad night (4320)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3393) Bad night (1113)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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  (313): My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission. http://tfl.nu/o1g8
  Replies (9) Good night (3973) Bad night (839)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does

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  (207): I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does http://tfl.nu/xjqc
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (1657)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Would it have been easier if he talked to her?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.

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  (416): Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled. (647): Would it have been easier if he talked to her? (416): Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing. http://tfl.nu/gzgt
  Replies (8) Good night (3678) Bad night (636)
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  (650): View more from California

  Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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  (650): Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america http://tfl.nu/igww
  Replies (8) Good night (1796) Bad night (510)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL

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  (210): You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL http://tfl.nu/gpbu
  Replies (6) Good night (1943) Bad night (474)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?

  (315): View more from New York

  Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.

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  (202): Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse? (315): Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance. http://tfl.nu/q51f
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (320)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.

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  (304): I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years. http://tfl.nu/ac3y
  Replies (6) Good night (945) Bad night (292)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.

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  (732): I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves. http://tfl.nu/qhy3
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (442)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated

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  (952): I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated http://tfl.nu/v9oe
  Replies (1) Good night (247) Bad night (751)

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