If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
