he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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