Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
