what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
