i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
