just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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