In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i've created a new STD.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
