I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
