I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
