Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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