I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
