We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
