you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
