I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
