someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Swine flu is the new snow day.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
