My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
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can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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