my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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