and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
