Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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