More tranny stories later!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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