ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
