After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
