I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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