if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
