So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
