I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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