Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
