dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
