But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
