I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
