Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
