I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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