Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
