No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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