so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
