Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
