People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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