My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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