Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
