I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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