Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize