do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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