think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
