We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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