so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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