There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
