Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize