a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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