So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
