it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize