yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize