dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize