for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
