Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
