Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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