you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You ruined the universe
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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