talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
