Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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