He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
