She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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