She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
