He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
